I'm reading a book called Birthing From Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England and Rob Horowitz. It's a very good book by the way especially if you want to try an all natural no drugs route or have a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean).
The first task that it gave everyone was to get out a pen and paper and write as fast as you can about your thoughts on pregnancy, labor, and birth. You're not supposed to stop and think...but just write, write, write. So here are my thoughts.
Even though in nursing school we had clinicals on the maternity unit, I never knew what to expect of pregnancy except for what I saw my mom go through 6-7 times. She was always sick during her pregnancies and didn't do well for various reasons. But it must not have been all that bad, because she had eight of us! Yep thats right...eight!
My pregnancy with Aidan wasn't all that enjoyable for me because Jesse and I were always talking about moving out here to New York and I felt stressed out. I had horrible swelling the last two months of pregnancy and begged the doctor to take him out early. He was breech so I ended up having a scheduled C-section at 39 weeks. The nurse anesthetist was good about letting him lay on me the first few minutes after delivery so that I could see him before they whisked him away as they cleaned him up and made sure he was healthy. During this time, the doctors and OR staff realized that I wasn't breathing like I should and thought that I threw a clot to my lungs. So the baby was whisked away along with my hubby and my mother stayed at the bedside with me to make sure that I was okay. It ended up being that I was really sensitive to the anesthesia and it had effected my breathing/speaking/swallowing. It was horrible! The spinal epidural had finally wore off and I was able to do everything normally in about an hour....except for moving my lower extremities. That took a long time to wear off. :O) Boy was I glad when I was finally in the post partum unit in my own room! I was still with no use of my legs, I was hooked up to every "line" imaginable (foley catheter, BP cuff, IV lines, etc.) but I was able to hold and bond with my new son!
This pregnancy has gone much better so far. I'm 24 weeks on Thursday and we're having a little girl. We've decided to name her McKenzie Elizabeth. I haven't been as stressed out and even through the aches, pains, and nausea, I've somewhat enjoyed being pregnant. I still notice some swelling when I'm on my feet a lot and when I'm dehydrated. This time around though, I'm determined to do things different. I've watched my diet a little closer to make sure that I'm making smart choices and if she's not breech, then I'm going to have a natural birth with no drugs (unless I have back labor) in which I'll try not to have an epidural but will still accept pain medication (nuban or whatever is offered now (non-narcotic)).
With Aidan I was unable to breastfeed. I'm not sure if I didn't make enough milk, Aidan wasn't interested, or I just didn't have the support I needed to make it through. I want to give breastfeeding another try with McKenzie and not give up on it this time.
I'm really scared of this whole "birth experience" this time around probably because I've never experienced a vaginal birth or even labor. What if in all the pain I yell out curse words or scream too loud!?! What if my mom can't make it out for the birth and Jesse can't be with me in the room because he has to be with Aidan!?! There are a lot of fears going through my head but I am still determined to experience a natural child birth if possible!
Good news: Just found out that my pediatricians office has a lactation consultant in the office and I can make appointments with her. :o)
2 comments:
Wow, Sarah. That is quite a birth story! I can't believe I never knew that before now! I'm so proud of you for wanting to go natural and giving breastfeeding another try. I have every confidence that things will go great this time around. Its great that you are preparing for it even now. Sto and I took a course in the Bradley Method of natural birth which focuses on the husband as the birth coach. It was really great at preparing both of us and Sto was amazing during labor. Exactly what I needed. I'd love to chat with you more about all of this. Hopefully we'll see you soon!
Yeah, it was definitely quite the experience. Which I think is why I have so many fears this time around. I've found a really good doctor here though and I know she'll make sure everything is going ok. I've started swelling up again but she said that its normal and not dangerous yet. My BP, urine, and everything else is looking good/normal. :) Sometimes I think I just want another C-section because its easy and I can schedule it around family coming. But we'll see. I know that natural is better for both me and baby.
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