Finding happiness

Most of us are on a journey of happiness.  How did we get to this place anyway?  Is this what adulthood is like?  Why didn't we search for happiness as children....we just were.

Sure we had our struggles as kids but it usually was about not having something that one of our friends had....about not being as cool as the other person...  But wait...maybe that is how it started!!?! We have been geared to always want the next best thing.  That next thing will bring us happiness....until it doesn't!

Why did it take me almost 38 years to really take a step back to see this?  I mean really stop and think and be present.

My husband, Jesse, has been talking to me about minimizing and being more sustainable with our choices.  We paid off my car years ago and when his car bit the dust, we didn't go out and buy a new car.  No. He started bicycling to work and back every day.  Actually he started biking everywhere.  And although I've teased and judged him, I secretly wondered how he does it.

Then I started reading Love Warrior by Glennon Melton Doyle.  Now her book is more about her journey towards love and how she has had to let things go in her own life; barriers that were keeping her from truly loving herself and therefore keeping her from loving others.  It wasn't necessarily material things but walls that she had put up to protect herself.  And although her story was a little different than my own, I saw myself in her. I saw those barriers that I have put up in my own life along the years.

A family member at Christmas time was talking about how she watched Minimalism on Netflix and how she was inspired to reduce the amount of things and clothes she has in her home.  Well...I was curious and so I watched it today while my husband went off to work.  It was really good!  Intriguing and although at first I sat and said to myself, "This is easy to talk about but it's not easy to do", I realized that they are right.  We are constantly trying to fill that void in our lives...trying to make ourselves happy.  Whether we are looking for more tangible things or climbing the corporate ladder in order to get that six figure income....we are always trying to get more to make ourselves happier.

In the Minimalist, Joshua and Ryan go on a 10  month book tour where they talk about how how they have become minimalists.  They have minimized the clutter in there homes, often only having about 30 things that they take with them.  In their living spaces they only have what they need: couch, table to eat w/the amount of chairs they need,  they only have gadgets in their kitchens that they use, etc.  Now these two don't have children so it's easy to argue that when you have a family this is tough to do.  Well...true!  But they also interviewed a father of six who has done this with his family as well and talked about how it has reduced the tension in their home.  The truth is, there is research after research that when you declutter your homes, it dissipates the stress and tension that you have in your life.  It is easier to wind down and relax and have meaningful conversations with your family members or just to unwind and be present.  One of the quotes they used at the end was "Love people and use things...because the opposite never works".  This is telling us to love...truly love yourself and the people you come into contact with....don't use them for your gain.  Use the things you have and don't try to get more to make you feel better.

Things do not equal happiness.  Love brings true happiness.  I have so much more to learn and I am inviting you on this journey to happiness.  No challenge groups....no homework...except to be present.  Listen to your breathing, be present with those around you and truly listen to them and be with them.  Declutter your home if you're able...and if not, I invite you to watch the documentary The Minimalist.  Joshua and Ryan are on to something.

Resources:
 Theminimalist.com and Minimalist (documentary on Netflix)
10% Happier (book)
The Hope Effect